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9月29日 Under ConstructionDear Freinds,
Its been how many years sicne i've written in here. too tired. Well just came to write saying that within these past weeks taht i haven't writen. too much stuff has happened. I think its time for a rest don't you? probably won't be writting for quite a while now that i don't see the point anymore.
Until Then~ 8月25日 End of the RoadGosh... I honestly haven't written in so long. Can't even remember the last time i wrote here. Nothing much has happened in these past few weeks... just a couple of assesments.
Well... the road to my happy days are over i guess... most of you know what i'm talking about... yesterday i got told that my work got sold and the good thing is that i am still employeed. the bad thing is that he isn't and now i will never ever ever ever get to see him again...  crap HUGE BREAKDOWN... last night i honestly felt so  ... well only got 3 more weeks... might as well make the most of it ay. Lets just hope that nothing bad happens... at least let it end well Well wish me luck!
Unitl Then~ 7月26日 Tiring NightSo0o0o0o0o0 Sorry that I haven't written in such a long time. Been pretty busy i guess or just lazy... well... at computers at the moment and i've finished all my work so might as well kill time.
Don't think much has happened at school since its only wednesday. Yesterday was Open Night and it was soooo busy. I had to sit in a stuffy class room with all these year 9's doing calligraphy. but it was still cool coz all my buddies came to see me! and i got to see my best friend! ( yeah thats you calum
 ) i'm gonna try and participate in everything that i can at school so i can keep myself occupied and not think about useless things or a person. Can't think of much to write actually... got to go study for dumb calculus test thats tommorow... so might just leave it here.
Until Then... 7月21日 Buckets full of TearsHeh` Don't even know where to start... Its only been the first week of school and its like worse than living in hell. I wonder what kind of trick God is playing on me... It's pretty amusing actually. You can think that I'm exaggerating, but right now, i am completely lost in direction right now. I have no idea where my mind is suppose to be. So many bad things have happened lately and i usually don't really care about it but some reason being... this time it was a MAJOR breakdown. So from the top of the list:
Have you ever felt that sometimes you just honestly really need someone to talk to, whether its your boy/girl freind, best friend, buddy, family? It doesn't really matter who it is ay... as long as they are willing to listen. I wish i could do that right now. but unfortuanatly i can't be that lucky.
Isn't liking someone difficult? To be honest, I'm really tired from this affection and i think i'm going to give up. (which i am finding really hard doing) What's the point in liking him when he gives me the cold attitude. There's just too much happening and writing it all down is not enough. i guess some secrets are just to big and shameful that i feel ashamed thinking about it. Haha this is random, but half way back home from work tonight... i cried hard out. Ok this blog is long as but just the last thing i want to say
7月18日 Confusing EverythingHm~ haven't written in such a long time... too much going on I guess...
So like yesterday was the first day of school right? and somehow everyone is talking about the new principal and how he's a faggot and a NAZI. I know its kinda stink talking about him this way but he's making people tuck in their shirts into their pants... i mean like... he went to intermediate as well, so he should know how horrible it is to dress that way. This morning i had to walk half way to school and it was really cold. *sigh* its gonna be real different this week cuz my other best friend is going to be away for three whole days. I'm at computers at the moment coz and i'm suppose to be working on my assesment but it's real boaring. I hate it when theres nothing to do and its real boaring... cuz then i'll start thinking about things that make me real confused, like this confusing afftection that i have towards this person right now, its kinda distracting me a little now. Anyway, gotta see what else happens later on in the day to wirte more (also its because my teacher won't stop talking and its really annoying me)
Unitl Then... 7月11日 Upgrading FaceHaha~ today was a real awesome but really tiring day... so like i have 2 best friends right? and i went over to one of their houses and cuz we had time to kill so we decided to take a 30 minute walk to westgate. it was cool but man... cuz i just brought these high heels the other day and i wore them to her house today and i had to walk in them to and back from westgate and it was Soooooooooo tiring. Now, my feet are like ..............  Ok, as to the title of this blog... well on my upper jaw, one of my tooth is really different looking to the other ones and for 3 years... they've come to the comclusion that they can't do anything about it cuz it'll make it look even uglier so on thurday i'm getting cosmetic dentistry... exciting isn't it? Hope they don't make it any worse than it already looks. Gosh its been a REAL busy holiday this month... Nearly Over... Until Then~ 7月7日 Expected FridayI knew it! See? Told you... whenever we text... the following week when i get to see him he avoids me... ok there's a huge exaggeration here... we still did talk and stuff... just not as how great it was last friday... STUPID FREE TEXTING!!!!!!!!!  Arh~ too pissed right now and a little  at the moment... so might just leave it here.Until Then... 7月5日 Personality Adjustments Part IIOk~ Before i get onto about the title,whats happened so far? Hmmm~~~ well its only been the forth day of the holidays... nothing much...
Ok the title... so recently i've been thinking about the stuff i've given up and changed to: Watching TV -----> Reading Books Hip Hop/R&B -----> Classical Music Lights out @ 12 ----> Lights out @ 10:30pm Funny -------> no sense of humor i think there was more before but i really forgot... because i care too much about what others think of me and that i don't give a bad impression... i think i've been forcing myself to do things i don't really like doing... i'm really confused now and can't really decide whether the things i've been doing is a willingness or force... i think this time, i'm really gonna try suit the MSN name : ' Upgraded Phoebe'
Well, thats it so far i think
Until Then~ 7月2日 So HAPPY *Screams!* Om gosh! friday was HONESTLY SUCHA GREAT DAY!!!!! Haha History didn't repeat itself and didn't get worse... THANK YOU GOD!!! can't think of anything else to write at the moment cuz i'm too happy but then also concerned about something... but anyway...Until Then~ 6月30日 Good Friday AH~! I'm honestly REALLY happy today... so much good things happened. I'm friends with that idiot now and that is SO0o0o0o0o0 cool! also... my best friend stood with me and waited with me until my dad came a picked me up from school (Thanks for standing with me today Calum!) ... um today i heard some stuff that someone said about me... but might not be true so i gotta get that sorted out... don't wanna mistaken them... anyway... its the last day of school and the ball as well and i don't get to go, but for all of you's that are going... have heaps of fun and a great time ok? um... i had heaps to write about before but now i forgot... just hoping that becasue its friday... hope it won't be like last friday and won't get any worse than it already is...well anyway..."
Until Then... 6月29日 Nearly OverWell tomrow is the last day of school which is kinda good and bad...Good part is that there is no school so i don't have to fuss about homework but then the bad part is that i can't see my freindzies for 2 weeks  so yea... can't really remember what happened today... except that i took heaps of cool pics of my freinds... Oh great, its friday tommorow... know what that means ay. I actually don't really want to think much about that right now... to be honest. i don't even know what i'm doing or writing right now cuz my mind is so blank and i'm REALLY TIRED. well i found out today that someone thinks i mean. oh forget it ... i'll write more tommorow Until Then 6月28日 Personality AdjustmentsOk so you can kinda guess what today is gonna be about... well today at maths... cuz i was bored and i sat there and was thinking about what kind of a person i am. and it comes to a conclusion that i am: 6月27日 Cupid is StupidHaha~ you know that song and it goes :  Stupid Cupid...Stop picking on me? well i think the words are true... i hate cupid, hes sucha faggot, hes ruining my life!!!!! the feedback that i've been getting back from people are totally opposite. apparently to girls, when a boy is avoiding you it means that they like you but don't want to or its that they want to get your attention. and to boys, apparently when i boy avoids you i means that they don't like you... Gosh~ which one am i suppose to go with? if i go with the positives, it'll come out more negative... and if i go with the negatives, i'll cry on the inside... crap i'm so pissed right now. and i got a stupid chinese speech tommorow morning! ARH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Goodness, why can't stuff just be like how it was before... ? So unfair. oh well.........just gotta live with it... oh an calum... if you're reading this... remember what i said today? hurry before its too late. Until Then... 6月26日 Spinning LifeHahahaha How many days haven't i written in this blog? Must be cuz it was FREEZING COLD in the past two days. Anyway... i think i had a lot of things to write before but at the moment theres only one thing going on in my head right now... yeah you can probably guess it ay.
(haha this is random, but its taking me forever to write up this blog) My head is honestly so sore right now...too much stuff going on: chinese trip, chinese assesment, computer assesment and 'him' which i really don't want to waste my time thinking about. *sigh* So like... what does it mean when a boy is avoiding you? The idiot that likes me said that it means they don't like you but then my other friends say that maybe their trying to get attention or that its because they like you but don't want to... Gosh boys are really hard to understand, for goodness sake show some emotion... does a boy really act different when there is an affection??? wow! it really feels better getting it all out! Ok then Until Then... 6月21日 Crap Bum DayToday was such a crap bum day~( they won't let me put the 'a' word on... its not even a swear word) this boy made up this rumor about me liking someone and that he was my boyfreind and yelled it out loud, that rumor was revolting and i was about too cry when he said it. so then my cool as 'brother' beat him up for me ! even though i against violence in solving problems...
Well, I had guts today and was the first to perform my spanish speech to the teacher, and if she doesn't change her hmind, i think i got excellence coz she was like ' i don't see why it isn't' i was so0o0o happy. *sigh* got two more assesments left and thats it~ all over until next term *thank GOD!~* well think thats about it so far until then~ 6月20日 Just one normal day pleaseGoodness~ people that have been reading my blog probably noticed already that everytime i write, there is something 'interesting' that happens. Gosh i can't even have one normal day when i can just write in my blog saying that nothing happened. Thought that idiot gave up in liking me already but noo0o0o0o0o0o, today i'm form class cuz he sat next to me, these 2 year 11 girls came into our class and he was telling me that he thinks the shorter one is hot or something and then guess what he said to me? "but you look better" gosh somehow when he said that i didn't feel complimented, but instead more  i know its kinda stink saying that but you know... and then he was asking me stuff like, will you go out with me if i ask you in person and saying that he still likes me. gosh why can't you just give up after 4 years???there is sooooooo00000ooooo much stuff going on right now. i've got 2 speeches to perform, work on thursday, friday and saturday, incomplete accounting and english homework and the last thing i need is some annoying faggot constantly asking me out!!! so you see why i listen to classical music now??? Oh well, guess its just crap fate *sigh* Until Then... 6月19日 Living in AntarcticaGosh~ Today is FREEEEEEEEEEZING!!!!!!! it was so hard to walk to class in the cold breeze and tempreture and a little bit of rain as well i think. LOL, don't know whether its cuz of the cold things i've been thinking about or the weather, but no matter how much layers i wear, i'm still cold, so cold that i couldn't feel my feet the other night. Or maybe my hearts frozen and i'm just a cold cold cold person. who knows. Well nothing happened at school today, but i'm getting along with that idiot now, since he text me last night and saying that we're freinds and stuff so guess thats kinda good. got a spanish speech coming up on wednesday (maybe) and i haven't memorised all of it... luckly its only a practice. and then i got a chinese one coming up the week after... see. this is kinda the reason i listen to classical music now... it really does help decrease the stress no matter in school and social life. so yea... you people can think i'm a nerd or a snob, but i'm sticking to classics. hey, at least its better than getting dissed about listening to Hip Hop and R&B... don't you reackon? ok Until Then... 6月18日 4 Boys + 1 B***h = Major break DownIsn't the Title attracting?
So today, hm~ nothing much happened i don't think. Unfortunatly that idiot was texting me again. Gosh today is FREEZING! I can't even feel my feet at the moment. Ok. so the math equation : 4 boys + 1 b***h = major break down... Boy 1 : I like him and he doesn't like me. When ever we text each other, history will repeat itself again. Boy 2 : He likes me but don't like him... he was suppose to stop texting me but in the end... -_-! Boy 3 : I made him tell me some stuff that he didn't want to... Boy 4 : Think hes starting to get a little strange now but still thinks hes very freindly. B***h : Is me!!!! My mind is pretty blank now but then I know that all the sadness, stress, worries, and fustration will soon all spin around in my head. gosh, i just want to isolate myself, sit in a cardboard box and cry. anyways... think thats about it so far until then... haha, thats strange, they won't let me put the B word on 6月17日 Strange DayWow~ today was sucha a strange day... You know how that idiot usually txts me and askes me out? well today, he was saying stuff like "phoebe i'm sorry about before, its ok if you don't like me but i like you so much" and then he was like " will you go out with me" so i asked him "how long are you going to ask me for?" and guess how he replyed? " I'm finished now, 4 years is long enough"... So what now? Does he still like me but just not going to ask me out? not that i'm sad or anything but its so sudden and it feels kinda weird. And then later on today i got an unexpected text from 'him' but somehow i don't feel as happy as i usually would. must be all the confusion  oh well, just gotta see what happens tommorow ay.hm~ today wasn't really interesting, just went to work and came back home and now writing this blog. well Until Then~ 6月16日 History did repeat itselfOk well first of all i know i didn't wirte last night, by honestly, there was so0o0o00o0o0o0o0 much accounting homework to do. Anyways~ Nothing much happened at school today i think, except that i couldn't do anything in computers today cuz internet was extremly slow. Well its friday again... and most of everyone probably knows that fridays are special for me... but i think history repeated itself again. *sigh* um dont know whether it was cuz the shop was really busy today and that we didn't get enough time to catch up or that he just didn't want to talk, but either way... i'm used to it now so i guess its all good. but i guess it kinda hurts sometimes. Gosh i feel like that theres a humungous gap between us now and that its getting bigger and bigger every week and i can't do anything about it. My report wasn't bad but mum seems to be really pissed at me about english so i need to work extra hard on that. Well, i thought i did have a lot of things to say but i forgot now LOL too disctracted my (u know what) oh well,Until Then... |
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